Friends

So, I wanted to post about this awhile back but couldn't at the time, and recent posts have reminded me a bit of it.

I was reading a feminist book that includes an account of Sojourner Truth's "Ain't I a Woman" as most seem to do, and was a bit bothered by it. Not the speech itself.
One part of it was wondering to what degree the accounts of the speech can be trusted when they where recorded by white feminists, and to what degree racism may have altered accounts of the speech.

But more than that, I think it's the context in which I usually hear the speech referenced. It feels like the context the speech gets put in by many (white) feminist authors makes it less about the oppression black women face, but rather an argument for white women. White women were saying they were equal and could do things men claimed they couldn't, and here comes good old Sojourner to explain that women could do more than these white men give them credit for! It feels like the speech gets used by white feminists, to use a black woman's experiences to work on their own issues, instead of having it actually be about black women's experiences.

And who knows to what extent white women at that time took that perspective and what affect that had on how they retold the experience.

Of course it's not just about one speech from the 19th century. I think we can still see this happening in feminism today. The experiences and voices of women of color get used as just an arguing point for white women and their issues. Women of color are expected to back up white women, but never have their own experiences be anything other than tools for white feminists.

I got my T letter today!!! I am so friggin happy!!!! I knew that my therapist was working on it, but I didn't think that she would have it done today. This day keeps getting better and better, I got a job too and I found a ride for my fiancee to come this weekend so we can celebrate our anniversary and go to our friends' wedding!!

When laws around sex offender's are made (the registries, where they can live, etc...) the practical applications aren't often considered. I don't mean to raise the 'think of the oppressor' but, if the U.S. society wants to seriously use prisons as a correctional institution, and end recidivism, how are headlines like this ok:
Roadside Camp for Miami Sex Offenders Leads to Lawsuit

I have lived in low income & high volume living where registered sex offenders were all over my neighborhood. After jail and half way houses neighborhoods like where I lived were one of the few places they could stay, I guess. I am sure other areas that had stricter rules about proximity to day cares and elementary schools would make it impossible for these people to live anywhere.

The victims rights movement, as well as the women's rights movement has made uneasy alliances with the criminal justice model making for some advancements, but in the fight for safety and a reliance on jails the problem of 'after jail time' has not been solved. So who's problem does it become? The offenders, societies, 'feminists?'

I have my own ideas on what builds safe communities (I am a fan of restorative justice models) and how the current justice system in the U.S. continues to reproduce oppression) but what are yours, and what is your reaction to the story?

Mood: awake

I have packed away Nicola's belongings and put them in storage.

I have come to the conclusion that I have body issues not gender issues and on that diagnosis I have come terms with my past actions.

Mood: calm

So I was reading the back archives of blogger brownfemipower's new site, flip flopping joy, the other day. BFP is one of the most powerful writers online imho, and this post perfectly illustrates that power. Some of the comments are equally insightful - I recommend everyone read the thread through to the end. A lot of what's discussed is I think really pertinant to the dynamic of this community.

feminist has been kinda slow recently, but there have been some huge heated debates, many of which I've been involved in myself. And a lot of the time I have said the wrong thing, not in a minor way but in a big way -- said really triggering or offensive things, or said bigoted things. And sometimes I've had to run away from this site for a few months or weeks to get my head back on straight.

What I particularly wanted to talk about from the post I linked to on BFP's site was the idea that there is no "right answer" - that a lot of times in discussions, if you're a privileged person, either you can stay out from fear and do no work within yourself or with others, or you can jump in, and mess up, and keep on fighting through.

( More under cut. )

That was a discussion about proper terminology. This got me thinking...
(I know...right...DUCK!) Is there a list of proper terminology that I could copy and post round the office? I don't feel a huge need to reinvent the wheel...& I do, not so fondly remember when so many of the terms we use were an absolute mystery to me. I think that more exposure to proper terminology could do nothing to hurt, and might go miles in avoiding conflict by mishap.
So…
Anyone know of a good list?

I have some sad news for the community.  I don't expect any of you knew her, but a transwoman named Lucille died this weekend.  I met her when she spoke to people at my school about trans issues.  she was an active member of the community, a brave, beautiful, and fucking fabulous woman, and I didn't know her that well but her death has me shaken up.  I had a lot of respect for her...I don't even know what to say.

of course, the newspapers in the town where she died refuse to use the appropriate gender, and furthermore they are immediately making typical racist assumptions about the nature of her religion.  She had traveled to New Jersey from Arkansas to participate in a Voodoo cleansing ritual, after the ritual everyone went to sleep, and Lucie never woke up.  The ritual had nothing to do with her death, but the headlines are reading "VOODOO CEREMONY GONE BAD!" the paper is making it clear exactly what we, the white christian public, should think about african traditional religion. 

moreover the first two comments on her obituary are mocking.

if you feel so moved to let the Gloucester County Times know what you think of their coverage of this tragedy, I encourage you to comment or contact the paper.

here is the story.
( and here is Lucie )

Greetings

How does one go about learning the practicalities of living stealth? And what about other details of long-term post-transition living? I’d really love guidance/advice on stealth, and am having great difficulty finding people with experience who can answer my questions.

This makes sense, as of course stealth folks wouldn’t want to be found. But surely there must be someway to find someone to talk with. Any advice? Are there other forums to check out? People to contact? Is there anyone here who'd be willing and able to answer some questions about their experience?

I am in my mid 20s, blend very well, and basically my idea is to change my name (again) and move to a new city. But before I make the move I’d really like to hear some guidance from a big sister, as it were. Any ideas? Thanks!

I looked through the tags and didn't see anything about this, so I figured I'd ask.

I'm beginning to research surgeons so I can get my ducks in a row and know what to expect. I'm lucky enough to have insurance that will cover insurance, but the stipulations and conditions and hoops I'll have to go through to find a surgeon already seems daunting. I also was born in Illinois; So, for insurance purposes and Illinois' stupid birth certificate laws (for now) I need to find an SRS surgeon in the United States for $20,000 or less. So far, I've found the major names of course.. Bowers, Meltzer, and Brassard (not sure if Insurance would work with Brassard), Reed (which from everything I've read is a big no-no), and Christine McGinn.

Here's where the problem comes in, and I have to imagine I'm not the only one with this problem:
I'm overweight. Now, to be fair, I don't -look- all that overweight, and I mainly carry my weight in my belly. My arms and legs are actually very toned. I'm about 5'8", and at last doctor's appointment weighed about 298. (Still don't look it though).

Just about every surgeon's information I've found have weight restrictions; Bowers site I believe states patients should be 210lbs or less, McGinn's states patients should have a BMI of 28 or less (which for 5'8" is about 170lbs. Get Real.)

I know that I can't be the only overweight MTF person in the world, and I know that there have to have been others who have successfully had SRS. I can't imagine surgeons would turn away clients based on weight issues alone.

So then, does anyone out there have any experiences with surgeons / surgery and weight issues? I'm willing to try to lose weight, but I don't think that trying to lose 100+ lbs in the next 1-2 years is all that practical, feasible, or realistic.

x-posted to mtf, mtf_plussize and transgender

So, I have a question about testosterone vs. estrogen.

I went to the doctor on Friday as a walk-in patient and I explained my situation and gave him my letter from my psychologist. His original plan of action was to put me on a testosterone blocker for a couple of months and then introduce estrogen, however I told him I'm moving to Vancouver at the end of the month when he told me that the T-blocker would require numerous blood tests. He decided that because I'm going to be leaving it'd be pointless to do blood work now and then have to do it all over again when I get there as they won't have been there from the beginning and be as knowledgeable about my history, so he put me on .625 milligrams of estrogen for the first two weeks at one tablet a day, and then after the two weeks I begin taking two tablets, and after a couple of months I'm to find a doctor in Vancouver and start doing the t-blocker.

So my questions are these: Has anyone else done this, and will the testosterone in my system severely limit the effects of the estrogen while I'm on them pre-blocker, or will the estrogen basically just do its thing around the testosterone? 

This morning we held our protest. Lu's Pharmacy decided to show their true colours and closed rather than allow us inside. We held our protest anyway, and got on camera doing so.
My prescription for Lu's: Take two doses of tolerance and call me in the morning.

Xposted

This morning we held our protest. Lu's Pharmacy decided to show their true colours and closed rather than allow us inside. We held our protest anyway, and got on camera doing so.
My prescription for Lu's: Take two doses of tolerance and call me in the morning.

Xposted

From spectrumcaferss. See also:


http://nydailynews.com/gossip/2009/07/10/2009-07-10_chaz_bono_shows_off_girlfriend_at_outfest.html

Chaz Bono shows off girlfriend Jennifer Elia at Outfest
BY Joanna Sloame
DAILIY NEWS WRITER
Friday, July 10th 2009, 11:59 AM


Chaz Bono (R) and his girlfriend Jennifer Elia (L) live together in West Hollywood. (Vazquez/Getty)

Who knew Chaz had a hottie girlfriend?

Chaz Bono, who usually keeps his personal life private, showed off gorgeous galpal Jennifer Elia Thursday night at Outfest in Los Angeles.

Outfest is the largest film festival for gay/lesbian/transgender-themed flicks in the country.

The son of Cher and the late Sonny Bono recently revealed he is undergoing a sex change to become a man, and has changed his name from Chastity to Chaz in the process.

A political and social activist, Chaz lives in West Hollywood with the brunette beauty. Bono began the sex change process in early March shortly after his 40th birthday.

"I am excited for Chaz that he will now be able to live life the way he wants to and in a body that is more comfortable for him," Kristen Schaffer, the executive director of Outfest told RadarOnline.com in June. "Chaz's 'coming out' as transgender is wonderful for the LGBT community as it not only increases transgender visibility, but also shows that we should never compromise our own identity."

Music: Absolute Classic Rock

http://examiner.com/x-16330-Philadelphia-Transgendered-Relationships-Examiner~y2009m7d9-To-disclose-or-not-to-disclose

To disclose or not to disclose
by Joe Ippolito
July 9, 3:21 PM

Disclosing to a potential dating partner can be an anxiety producing experience for many "passing" transgender people. Passing is the ability to present oneself as a gender other than one assigned at birth and to live in an unrecognizable state in society as this new gender.

For some, the notion of being rejected because of their transgender identity is so terrifying they opt to remain "in the closet," and end up not dating at all. For others, telling a potential dating partner may not be something they ever do. However, if disclosing is something you personally feel is important to you then it might be helpful to keep these few points in mind when deciding to open up in this way. For starters, you may want to feel the person out first to see exactly where they stand on similar political and social issues, such as gay and lesbian concerns, and/or determine how they relate to certain gender roles? Is this person more politically conservative then you expected? Do they think lesbians are really women who have merely not "landed" a good man? Do they think it is wrong for men to wear pink and women to wear blue? Depending on what the answer to these questions are, you may want or need to reconsider who this person is and if they really make a good dating partner for you. However, if you decide to go forward with the dating relationship you will then need to figure out a good time to talk with them about your gender identity.
( Read more... )

Music: Absolute Radio

Well now I am obsessed with having FFS done on my brow bone! I keep looking at the brow bone and I get so depressed seeing it. I don't think I have a huge brow bone(I probably do but don't notice it like others would), but more than I want. I really want to get rid of it someday(sooner than later), but I am so scared of the surgery and concerned with the costs. I know overseas is the place where many go, but I am afraid of traveling across the ocean. What surgeons would any of you recommend that have an exceptional track record, and are not over priced in the states?

Thanks :)

Mood: tired

So, this girl and I have known each other for 2 years, but only started dating a few weeks ago. I know she identifies herself as a lesbian, but she asked me out and we had a discussion about whether or not she understood that I am a MAN. SHe said that she did, so I said sure. All the time that we spend together... I don't know she looks at me as if she really adores me. I feel pretty similarly. I never felt like we were "the lesbian and her tranny boyfriend", I just felt like we were us... until now. The other day, I said to her, "I'm thinking about try to get on testosterone. How do you feel about that." I admit that it was kind of a lie because I'm not just thinking about it, I've been trying really hard to get it for almost a year now. She said "Why should it make any difference to me?" and I was pretty ok with that answer. But then today, we were talking about Max from the L-word and I said, jokingly, "haha, that's me in a few months." I have to admit that this was also a small lie because it's not so much as a few months as... I little less than a month. She responded with surprise and wanted to know "what changes" she would expect. Now, I know my effects of T pretty well, but... I guess I have two questions:

1) Has any one else here ever been in a relationship with some one whose sexual identity doesn't exactly match your gender so much as your sex? If so, should I be worried? I feel worried... I like... her

2) What are some effects of T that I really really need to remember to say when we have our conversation? Are there any that you've accidently scared any on with? I don't want to... surprise her too much.

Help appreciated... >.>

-James

I've looked around the past couple of days on here, and I decided to make an introduction.

Name's Dominick, how 'ya do? I'm just under 20, and I am a FTM. I used to live in Oklahoma, but due to home situation I moved to Bangor, Maine (on my own at the start. I managed to find several great people to share rent in an apartment).

I'm still frustrated at my current state in transition, which has stalled due to financial reasons. I am in therapy, have been diagnosed with GID, and now I am stuck. Money, money, money, everyone wants money that I do not have to give.

Aside from that, I am a bit of a bibliophile, I like bowling, billiards, art, Galaga, and Sherlockiana.

I hope to talk to some of you guys, gals, in-betweens and off-the-charts soon!

Allegheny County OKs nondiscrimination bill

Philadelphia Gay News
July 9, 2009
by Jen Colletta

The Allegheny County Council approved a bill last week that would prohibit discrimination against LGBT county residents in employment, housing and public accommodations.

The council approved the Allegheny County Human Relations Ordinance in an 8-6 vote July 1, and county executive Dan Onorato indicated later that night that he will sign the legislation.

The bill, proposed by Councilwoman Amanda Green last summer, additionally creates a seven-member human-relations commission to investigate and adjudicate cases of potential discrimination.
( Read more... )

SEPTA panel recommends end to genderized fares

Philadelphia Gay News
July 9, 2009
by Timothy Cwiek

The 27-member SEPTA Citizen Advisory Committee has unanimously recommended that the transit agency stop using gender markers in its fare-collection system.

Since the 1970s, SEPTA has placed gender stickers on its weekly and monthly passes to reduce swapping between males and females. SEPTA also issues gender-specific reduced-fare cards for seniors and the disabled.

But LGBT advocates have protested this practice, noting that its implementation requires gender stereotyping on the part of SEPTA personnel, which they contend is against federal law.

Now advocates have the support of SEPTA’s advisory committee, due to the committee’s unanimous vote at its June 30 public meeting.

“SEPTA is unintentionally discriminating on the basis of sex because it’s only singling out the category of gender for fraud reduction,” said committee chair Robert Clearfield. “We believe SEPTA may be violating federal law. And it’s our hope they’ll stop doing so, immediately.”
( Read more... )

Please note that I personally do not agree with the headline of this article.
Also note that the article from the Daily News dated July 3.

Man in women's clothing found dead in park
Philadelphia Gay News
Wednesday, July 9, 2009

A jogger in Fairmount Park last week found a man dressed in female clothing whom police say was murdered.
( Read more... )